spring fever?

I don't know why I am here. I don't know what I want to write or who I want to read it.
But some days, some nights, it takes every thing I have to keep breathing. The world can seem like a hostile place and occasionally one needs to retreat into one's shell and... just breathe. Let it all roll in and out without over thinking things.
So I somehow find myself here. Writing meaningless drivel and still unsure where to head from here.

Wilco?! Seriously? I don't even want to know.

Someday Never Comes

If I ever learn to play the guitar it will be so I can play this song with my own hands.

Snow!

There is something magical about blizzards. There is this sense that the world is holding it's breath. The silence overtakes everything, even if you stay in the house. Maybe it's the thought of impending powder on the hills and knowing that I will be shooshing through it soon. Maybe it's the comfort of seeing all that deadly cold coming down while I am tucked cozily away at home with two of the cutest boys to ever exist. But blizzards make me want to curl up with a book, video game controller or a laptop to record my musings and snuggle with a strong cup of steaming coffee. 
But motherhood is calling and my boys don't snuggle well. They are more the run wild through the house shooting each other and me while climbing the walls and ripping things apart. So instead I think we will make vegan sugar cookies in the shape of turkeys and pilgrim hats and decorate them with powdered sugar icing. But coffee is on and She & Him are playing in the background though so at least some of the blizzard peace is still in tact.

sigh.

never make someone else your hero.

Secret by The Pierces

I am absolutely abuzz with my new-found love for The Pierces! What an amazingly creepycool sound they have.
This song isn't necessarily indicative of their overall musical stylings but how freaking cool is it?! It has this odd sexy/stalker feel to it that I find strangely captivating.

Just search Youtube for The Pierces if you are even half as twitterpated as I am right now.

Go, Mom!

Another gorgeous fall day. Twice this week I have spent my evening at the local roadside climb. It is already November and the leaves have only just started to turn and drop. Days that should be considered blustery have instead been filled with sunshine, open doors and warm rocks. All the locals were at the crag tonight, we don't waste these evenings if it can be helped.
As the golden sun was not yet set behind the Bannock Range I started up a climb that would have once been within my skill set. I knew a clean ascent would elude me tonight. Flushed basalt rubbed my raw fingers as I started up. I looked down at my little sister and double checked her stance. “I won't get this, Lyndsey,” I hollered. She rolled her eyes and yelled something back in typical teenage fashion. Just keep climbing, I thought to myself. A ledge that couldn't easily hold a nickel was my only hand hold, but I've seen worse. At least this ran the width of the route. Small foot holds were tolerably stable but an inexperienced belayer kept me from putting too much faith into any hold. I floundered a bit, testing holds and not moving much. My already tender hands were taking the brunt of my insecurities and the warm sun was threatening to disappear quickly and leave a chill to remind us that this reprieve was a temporary gift.
Rick was belaying near me and he kindly called out some beta. Rick may have been climbing these rocks before there was a city nearby. Or dirt. If grizzly old Rick tells you where to put your hands, listen. So listen I did. Moving left along the nickel-sized shelf I eventually found some small crimpers to grab. Breathing hard and trying not to groan with effort I reached for a far right hold using nothing but friction to lean into the rock and keep my body steady. All sounds faded as my world became focused into the ancient stone in front of me. A loud sigh escaped from me as I reached, clinging to what I could, climbing higher by inches. This is what I love. That silence, the way it all stops as my mind and body have condensed into a single moment, a single move, a single rock. And breaking through all that came one of the most beautiful sounds I have been blessed enough to hear. “Go, Mom!” shouts my 3 year old. I laughed and turned around to see a beaming boy scrambling up some low lying rocks several yards away. Pride written across his face he turns to the son of a friend of mine and says, “My mom can climb SO high.” As my precious silence was shattered by the ensuing battle of whose mom was cooler (I didn't bother to inform my smitten son that Felix's mom, was in fact a much better climber than I) I simply reveled in the cacophony of it all, my sought after silence replaced by the joyous sounds of motherhood.