One year. An entire revolution on our planet Earth around the sun, which funny enough, doesn't have a proper name. My son, however, does have a name. A very big one: Killian Finneaus Burnside. I just added "Finneaus" to my Firefox dictionary! And this tiny little man with this great big name is a year old. George Carlin (the late & great) had a bit about our obsession with time and numbers. He remarked how we as a people love round numbers; well my little person isn't celebrating a round number in his life but he is celebrating a biggun, ONE!
I am actually an emotional rollercoaster about this amazing anniversary. In the last year I have officially went from the title "woman" to "Mom". I have fancied myself a huge freakin' whale to a bit of a MILF. I have lost over 40 pounds while my son has gained less than 15. I have went from a chick in her mid-2o's to what may as well be called a 30 year old. And through this last huge, nay giant, year I have had a love in my heart that I never knew was possible. I have had a child. It is indescribably wonderful and still incredibly difficult. I do still, and I suspect I will continue, to take everything personally when it comes to my boy Killian. If a kindly friend mentions he's a bit active I fret and moan about it for weeks. If he hasn't gained enough weight in between doctor's appointments I lament about being blind to his needs. I jest that the word precocious was invented for him. And through it all, I don't actually care what anyone thinks because I know. He is perfect. Allergies, colic, tempertantrums...through it all, I wouldn't change him for a moment. And that is true love. That is unconditional love. Every day I wake up and listen for that groggy voice and every day I am pleased to hear it.
It took a month for me to admit that I no longer have a baby but I am happy to be a mother to a toddler. He walks, talks and throws the cutest damn fits you could ever hope to see and he is mine. Life is good.
1 comment:
Happy Happy Happy Birthday Killian!!! You are such a great mommy & this little guy is soooo lucky to have you! It's so wonderful, hard, fun, trying, difficult, and absolutely the BEST thing to be a mom.....so many emotions, it's amazing how we go from just being so selfish as a woman to being so giving and forgetting ourselves. I know these days have been difficult watching your little guy go from baby to boy....but he is so blessed and so wonderful! Such a cute, fun, busy little guy! Thanks for asking me to do his pictures...he is such a sweet little man locked away in a little body....I can't wait to see who he will become!
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