perfection

Given enough solo time on a candlelit covered deck, during a rain storm, with a glass of whiskey and Girlyman on the surround sound, I could solve all the world's problems. Or at least question myself into a state of blissful befuddlement.
Splendid cacophony.
The flame flickers against beige siding as my gentleman caller promises love everlasting through plastic speakers. A continuous peltpeltpelt reassures me that no matter how things change... they will always stay the same. I have oft felt that we are where we aspire to be. No matter if I am a SCUBA diving, world traveling, gear plugging, canyoneering incendiary provocateur in my own mind, I cannot escape the reality of the banality of my suburban life.

Crystal balls don't exist. We must forge our own path and know that it is what it is. The paths we are currently constructing form the road that we will follow. Is every decision a piece of the pattern that will design our lives? Does it take extreme selfishness or extreme courage to lead a life less ordinary? Is it really selfishness to seek your own destiny? To asseverate with assurance, "this is what I want." and then contrive to have it? Let the others sort out the details.

I read once some trifling maxim "Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted." I had always thought it a facile way to view a complex life.